James Has Seen It All
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING: Slash][RLSB][MWPP Era][OneShot] James has seen all of the touches. All of the 'friendly' hugs. And so he thinks that it's time to confront Sirius and Remus about it. How wrong he is about all of it. The touches. The hugs. Even his assumption.


James had seen it all.

He'd seen the touches, the innocent whispers in the ear, and even the discreet laughs that were all always meant to be private. James knew what was happening the moment he saw it, when Sirius had put his hand on Remus' thigh while leaning forward gently to spy off of his homework paper. James had blinked a few times to make sure that his eyes weren't malfunctioning, especially when Sirius breathed softly into the tawny hair that covered the other boy's head. But no matter how many gapes he made at them, the damage had been done and it certainly couldn't be stopped.

Sirius and Remus were together and hiding it from James.

It made him furious even _thinking _about it. When it had all started. Why it had began. When they had realized. Did they not trust him? Did they think that he would be like Peter – who would shriek and run off to inform the entire common room as though there was a large and very menacing cockroach on his bed, and not his friends snogging?

Because, dammit, he would never do that.

James punched the pillow he was playing with in agitation, before throwing it across the room so it landed on top of Lily's head. He cursed softly under his breath; as it seemed that _nothing_ seemed to go right for him lately. Lily sent him a warning look and started to stomp over angrily – but James' mumbled and hurried apologies stopped her in her tracks with a deep sigh of irritation.

James fell back onto the couch and banged his head against the armrest.

Why had he never noticed before? Remus and Sirius were constantly acting like a couple, now that he thought about it. Always hugging longer than truly necessary when it came to leaving each other at the station, Sirius kissing Remus' hair the morning after his monthly transformation, and Remus lying his head in Sirius' lap when he rested in the common room on the couch after his return from the hospital wing.

It was so bloody obvious.

Did they have no knowledge of the word 'careful' or 'tactfully discreet'?

It was obvious that they did not want anyone to know, otherwise Sirius would be proudly sharing the news to all of the Gryffindors and making sure to kiss Remus right in front of the giggly bunches of girls just to prove a point. And Remus would have told James and Peter if _anyone_.

It was… odd. Mostly because Sirius could never keep secrets. He knew them for two minutes, carefully aware of the fact that the information was _not_ to be shared – and still remembering the promise he had made to not dish dirt to anyone – but yet he couldn't help babbling it out to the nearest person. Or at least James.

Was Remus so very efficient in ways of keeping Sirius quiet? A bargain? A deal? James could think of several ways that Remus had compromised to keep Sirius' mouth closed, and James did _not_ want to be informed of any of them.

"Enough already, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

James' head snapped up from his broody position of sulkingingly looking into the fire and hugging a pillow with his fingernails, seeing Lily staring impatiently into his eyes.

"Huhm?" he asked cluelessly, and Lily rolled her eyes before sitting down next to him.

"You have not even _attempted_ to ask me out this evening. You haven't _not_ done that since second year." she told him suspiciously, and then slightly concernedly.

"I'm sorry for not asking you out tonight," James apologized wearily, ignoring Lily's widening of the eyes, "I've been a little… upset."

"You're apologizing…" she repeated slowly. "for _not_ asking me out. This is new."

"I told you, I'm just a little depressed."

"Why?"

"Because…" James sighed. Yes, Lily Evans was the girl that he had been in love with since first year and wanted to marry in thirty different ways, but was she really someone to _share_ this information with? Not only would it make him look like a complete freak but also a selfish bastard.

But this was not the time to look sexy.

"Because Sirius and Remus are shagging and they haven't told me." he breathed out.

Lily was slightly speechless for a moment, before she quietly said 'oh' before nodding comfortingly. "I see," she said. "But why do you want to know? I mean… do you want to watch too?"

"No!" James said frustratingly, and pursed his lips. "They're my friends! They're supposed to share things with me and tell me everything! They're breaking the marauder code!"

"Marauder code…?" Lily trailed off confusingly, but then gave up in trying to understand. "Look, they probably have a reason in why they don't want to tell you. Maybe you're mistaken–"

"I am _not_ mistaken!" James yelled, and Lily raised in eyebrow. "Okay, I don't have proof in my hands, but haven't you ever watched them? It's like their snogging each other's brains out."

Just then, Remus and Sirius both quietly walked into the common room, chatting with one another slightly (with exaggerated eye contact, James thought) before walking up the stairs.

"Did you see the looks they're giving each other?" James accused in a hiss. Lily turned around, but the two boys were simply walking up the staircase in silence.

"Wow," Lily commented dryly, a smile in her words. "What eyesex they're having, James."

"Honestly now!"

"Why don't you just go up there and talk to them?" she offered, turning around to face him again.

"No! I have no idea what they're doing… up there."

"Nothing you can't walk on into," Lily said bluntly, and pushed James off of the couch with amazing strength. "It's your dormitory too."

James rolled his eyes but nevertheless got up from the floor, nursing his ankle slightly from his fall, and limping up the stairs.

He burst through the door for extra drama.

James had expected to catch them red handed, like they were thieves in the school, but instead he stopped dead in his tracks to see both of them studying on opposite beds. He gaped, and then put his hands on his hips crossly.

"Hello," James greeted with a false smile, and walked over to stand in between them. He felt Remus' and Sirius' gaze on his awkwardly. "No, no, carry on, pretend as though I wasn't here…" he told them.

James knew that it had been too easy. Of course they weren't going to shrug and start kissing senselessly on the floor. He sighed, sitting on the edge of Remus' bed.

"So… what's new? Anything you have to tell me? Anything _interesting_?" James' eyes widened eerily as he emphasized the last bit. Sirius raised his eyebrows at his friend.

"You okay, mate? You're kind of creeping me out."

"I'm fine. Just feeling a little… _gay_." he hinted loudly.

"I'm feeling happy, too, James, now go away." Remus said kindly, before shoving James off of his sheets. James growled.

"Enough is enough!" he shouted, catching the eyes of both Sirius and Remus. "Look, I know about you two!"

Remus exchanged a confused glance with Sirius. _What a fake_, James thought smugly. _They've been planning this out._

"What, that I'm a werewolf and that Sirius knows?"

"You tell me!" James said, giving Remus a stern look before steering over to Sirius. "You tell me if you were ever even _planning_ on telling me this??"

"Okay, that's it." Sirius finalized, and fumbled in his end table drawer for his wand. "Somebody has obliviated him."

"Nonsense, Padfoot," Remus mumbled. "He's just a little tired. Has Lily turned you down again, James?" he asked sympathetically, but only caused James to growl loudly in frustration.

"Just kiss already!" he screamed. "I know about you, okay? I _saw_ it!"

"Know about _what_?!" Sirius screamed back, flailing his arms helplessly. He grabbed James by the shoulders and shook him violently. "_What_ are you talking about?"

"You and Remus!" James shouted, wrenching out of his friend's grip. "You're together! You're gay! You're poofters, pansies, flaming queers, fags, homosexual, as gay as a maypole!" He jumped up for extra emphasis, but both boys still looked clueless.

"James, I think you've made a mistake–" Remus began calmly.

"Oh no you don't!" James said lividly, nostrils flaring as he pointed accusingly at the werewolf. "I've seen all of those 'friendly'–" he used his fingers to make blaming air quotations, "–touches! And those cuddles in the common room! And the completely, absolutely _straight_ hugs at the station!!"

Sirius and Remus exchanged slightly uneasy glances.

"James, please–"

"No!" he interrupted loudly. "I am not going to hear you're excuses! I am going to the common room until you two are finally ready to tell me the truth! As if I don't know it already!"

With that, James huffed loudly and slammed the door closed, leaving Sirius and Remus staring after him hopelessly, a slight desperate, ringing air still wafting around.

"Well…" Sirius said slowly. "That was certainly interesting."

"Idonotknowwhatheistalkingabout." Remus babbled out fixedly, reaching out blindly for a nearby book.

Sirius still understood. "I agree completely." He sat down on his bed, staring ahead blankly at the wall.

There was silence.

"Uh… Moony?"

"Yes, Padfoot?" Remus asked, peering slightly over his pages.

"You… you don't think that there is anything to what James was saying, do you?"

"I… James… James is always a little… out of his mind in the evening." Remus said pointedly, fiddling with his pages.

"I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable," Sirius told him with a sigh. "With all of those… hugs and stuff."

"You didn't." Remus confirmed. "You didn't at all. I hugged you too, you know." He lowered the book completely.

"But after what James said…"

"Look, we're not together, right? It's no big deal. James was just… drinking. Smuggling firewhiskey out of kitchens." Remus reassured him softly.

"He wasn't slurring," Sirius brushed off, shaking his head, wondering briefly in the back of his mind why he wasn't denying all of this. "or stumbling. Just yelling. And accusing.

"What are you trying to do, Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head, but murmured softly: "I… kiss you."

Remus blinked. "What?"

"Look," Sirius muttered, trying to ignore the sickness that was churning in his stomach. "James was right. I… I don't hug you like that just because you're my friend or cuddle with you on the full moon because you're so fragile… I… I like you."

Remus stared blankly for a moment. "James is one sick son of a bitch," he murmured, smiling. "If he was watching us this closely that he noticed that I was practically clinging to you."

The tawny-haired boy latched onto Sirius' neck in the next second, pressing their lips together firmly and languidly laying fingers over the black locks that fell into Sirius' forehead softly.

Sirius grinned against the other boy's lips, drawing him closer by the collar with one hand and attaching their hips with the other. _God_, this was so much better than hugging him.

Remus sighed contentedly, and moaned hungrily as Sirius swiped at his lips with his tongue.

They didn't even realize that the door had creaked open again and there were gentle footsteps thudding on the carpets before someone shouted out.

"Aha!" James yelled in triumph, "I _caught_ you! I was right! You _were_ and _are_ together!"

Sirius was senseless when he breathlessly pulled away from Remus and muttered: "Yeah. We were." And Remus didn't even bother to correct him that all of this was amazingly new and untouched property between them, as he connected their lips blindly again.

_AN_: Hello, all! I am terribly sorry that I have not updated sooner, but things have been busy at school since it just now started for me again.

I'm not only telling you to forgive me about my absence D: but I'm also pleading you to read xxacidxx's stories. Not only is she terribly brilliant and an amazing author, but she is an excellent friend to me. :D


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